i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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