He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
