Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My ATM looks so different sober.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
