I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
