nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
