Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
