If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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