Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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