this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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