Don't you send me to vm
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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