I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
