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I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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