Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
