I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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