Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
