how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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