There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
