You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
