nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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