I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
