I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
