Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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