Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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