I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
