Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
