he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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