I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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