i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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