When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
