How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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