Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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