drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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