Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
