I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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