Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
