she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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