This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
