I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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