so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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