remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
