I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize