I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
