This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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