And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
