Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
