So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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