i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize