I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
