Screwed.edu
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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