I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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