Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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