I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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