i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
