My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
