The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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