He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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