Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
