Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
