Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
