bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
