so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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