Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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