tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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