u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
