I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
