Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
